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   Left-handed Furries.   

Andrew - March '29- 12:00 Central Standard Time

Oh man, furries have to be the most uptight bunch of people Iíve ever had the pleasure of being flamed by. On the other hand, Linkís fanboys are the most anal-retentive. Onward!

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ArfenHouse the Movie!
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ArfenHouse 3

I wish all homeless nutcases were this intelligible.

Hey, bunny man.

1. I know this sounds weird, but wouldn't Star Ocean 2 make a great 2 player rpg? I mean, the battle system screams for more people. I know they'd have to make little tweaks, like the whole time freeze when getting an item or casting a spell. But wouldn't it be really fun to run around during a PA with like a split screen changing outcomes of events? It would be like the Mana series, but much much cooler.

2. What skills do you think aren't that necessary?

3. What's the best accessory?

- The Curbside Prophet

P.S. Ashton rocks like no other man with dragons on his back and a fetish with barrels. basically, everyone.

1. It doesnít sound weird at all. SO2 practically begs for such a battle system, and so does Tales of Destiny. And yet...they deny us! Vengeance!

2. You must be kidding. In all seriousness, if your characters arenít a natural at whatever skill you want them to learn, itís fairly useless to give it to them, but at the same time, I really get a kick out raising all my skills in S02, so mweh from me.

3. Thiefís Glove, hands down.

Yes, Ashton deserves his own game series, anime series, and action figure. Now...I wonder how he sleeps comfortably at night...?

If you donít love Link, your life is forfeit.

On the topic of Link's changing what hand he uses, had you played Wind Waker (which you don't have! Ha! Ha!) you'd know nearly every Link is a diffrent Link, hence it being okay for him to switch hands obviously.

Anyway, I'd like to say RPGamer's wind waker review totally sucks. Aside from being idiotic in the story part ("the dialog is great, but the story sucks...because it's not anything new...nevermind it's totally brilliantly executed!", hello that's what the originalty category is for), it also has a major spoiler in it (which I won't mention, but should hopefully be obvious).

And on that note, wind waker is the best thing since...that thing...that was really good...y'know...yeah. Point is, it's very (repeat the word 'very' about 50 times) good. I feel sorry for all non-cube owners/non-waker owners.


Yes, I know about Nintendoís answer of the different Links. This doesnít mean the tradition of Linkís hand problems wasnít started by a painfully obvious graphical glitch.

Look, the Wind Waker review is someoneís opinion. If you have a problem with it, write your own review. And hey, try to keep it in context. Iím sure Wind Waker is an amazing game when you first play it, but a reviewer has to look back on their experiences and really decide if the game is worth their time and ours. If something isnít perfect, then it doesnít get a 10, and through this, just because a game is fantastic doesnít mean parts of it canít fall short.

...with any luck, Iíll have Wind Waker by Monday, so Iíll be able to tell you readers myself. Rage...building...!

Fanboys. Iíd be frightened if I wasnít so amused.

I've seen the first few episodes of Final Fantasy Unlimited, and it's really not as bad as you make it out to be. Sure, the humor may appeal to five-year-olds at best, the art style is terrible, each episode ends the exact same way, the bad guy does nothing but eat dessert, the "remixes" of the classic FF music are atrocious, Fabra's horribly out of place, and Cid is a complete wuss, but, um... Well, at least Kaze's demon gun is freakin' awesome. I'd love to have a weapon like that. Besides, any Final Fantasy completist is practically required to sit through the series, even though it's not from Squaresoft (correct me if I'm wrong here) - "Sure, you may have completed Final Fantasy 1-10, but I've seen the anime! Beat that!" I'm hoping the plot picks up a bit in later episodes.

About the whole Link being ambidextrous thing, don't forget that the Zelda saga spans many generations. It is completely possible for a left-handed Link to have a right-handed great-great-great-etc. grandson. I'm surprised you didn't think of that, unless I'm missing something here.

BL Alien

Andrew: just went off for half a paragraph on FFUís problems, and you havenít see all the episodes. Very hypocritical of you, and guess what? The plot doesnít pick up at the end. Just like Hellsing, it dissolves pointlessly.

And besides, FFU is the second anime based on the Final Fantasy universe.

Shining Soul, spoilers? Naaaaaaah.

Overall it is not a bad game.

It is basically a Diablo clone done up in the cutesy Shining series style. The only problem is while thegame saves your progess, it does not save your progress in the individual dungeon areas, some ofwhich can get pretty damn big. Thus it is not exactly a good pick up and play game unless you just want to get more loot and xps. You need around 20-60 minutes at a time to play if you want to progress through the game and not have to keep exploring the same dungeon areas.

Oh yeah, and the Naughty Themed Christmas Show flash that Arfenhouse thing has up is WAAAY better, if just for the first 30 seconds or so when it parodies Mobile Fighter G Gundam. With Hamsters.

(Their comic is kind of strange, but had a segment using Ultima 1 graphics in it, so it needs respect for that.)


Hmm. Shining Soul is sounding better and better. Maybe Iíll pick it up this summer when GBA games dry up...

Yes, I to love the hamster fight sequence, but Arfenhouse will always have a special place in my heart. ďItís a cup of joe. On Joe.Ē

I completely agree.

Andrew, right? Yeah, I thought that was it.

Look, I got some problems with you and your reference to "Furries"... I happen to be in thatsub-par culture, thank you very much. Got a problem with it? Deal with it. Oh, and you inyourself don't forget that your signature is of a rabbit wearing a pilot's hat, standing ontwo feet and pointing his finger. So does that make you making fun of yourself?

*breathes* Okay, now that I got that out of the way... Hey! How's it going?

1: With Final Fantasy: Origins coming out (which I plan to buy), will Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicle be worth my time, so should I skip it?

2: Same question with FF: Tactics Advance...

3: So what, will you be going to AnthroCon this year, or something?

4: If a man yells at the top of his lungs while dancing on an fire-ant hill, while the whale is on the surface looking for grub, what is the absolute value of the meaning of life?

5: XenoSaga - Good... Wild ARMs 3 - Good... Final Fantasy XI BETA - Good...You - Bad, Bad Man...

Oh, and 6: Don't insult Furries... I take offense at that...

"Mr. Cat-Man isn't very happy wit you..." - Thomas R. Isfacat

1. Origins will be selling pretty cheap at $30, so I suggest you get both, since FF:CC isnít going to be out for quite a while.

2. Your choice. Iím getting it, but I also loved Rhapsody, so my taste in tactical RPGs is useless to the public. Useless!

3. I fail to see the point of attending such a thing.

...that is...unless youíre offering to fly me out there, pay for my hotel and expenses, and then perhaps I could see myself heading out to such a forsaken place to learn the ways of the furries.

4. 42.

5. If I stab you, no jury would ever convict me.

6. Thatís nice. Iíll keep it in mind that if I ever poke fun at furries again, theyíll rain terrible wrath down on the form of indignant letters.

With a name like that, you know heís cool.


I knew I read something about "furries" in a previous column, and it turns out it wasn't yours. I felt like sending a letter then, but I didn't think it was worth it. "Furries" are a minority even compared to other minorities, but I don't see how that makes us a group to simply laugh at and look on with disgust. To be perfectly honest, I didn't look at much of the page you linked to. All I know is that I found what I saw extremely offensive so I closed the window as soon as possible. There is no rock solid definition of someone who's "furry." In general it applies to anyone who has a higher than "average" interest in anthropomorphic animals (not even necessarily furry animals). The spectrum is very broad, ranging from fans to those who want to be anthropomorphic animals. It's irrelevant where I stand on the spectrum, but it's sickening how people "learn" about the fandom/community/whatever through brief uninformed mentions such as in an ER episode or through "here's something weird to make fun of" shows like the MTV show Chesh refers to.

A quick web search revealed this, which is at the very least more informative and respectful than the site you linked to.

This "sick, sick furry" is indeed feeling sick right now. Perhaps you didn't intend your message to be so offensive, but to me at least it was. I can't think of anything else to say other than that I really, really like the latest Zelda. And of course you're right about "furries" liking such characters. A little diversity never hurt anyone though, and "furries" are so few that there's no way the designers of games would put them in to please us.


1. Yeah, why would you comment on Cheshís column? It was a pointless blurb, at best.

2. Oh come on, you guys arenít THAT small of a minority. I was linked to the site by one of my friends who happens to be a furry, and we both found it hilarious. Iíve a few furry friends, and you know what, Iíve got a confession to make. I like cat-girls! I love the ears, the tail, and those oh-so-cute kitty paws! Does this make me furry? Who cares! If you canít laugh at your hobbies, like the guy whose site I linked to does, then you sir, have a stick the size of Kansas up your butt. So what if people have a bad impression of furries? The vast majority has a bad impression about gamers, anime fans, and everything nerdish that we enjoy. Do I, or should I care? Of course not.

...and hey, thanks for putting your letter in html format. You have NO idea how much time that saves me.


I don't know if I can bring myself to play FFTA. It already feels like a giant letdown. I think a good chunk of what made FFT great was the storyline (as mangled as the translation was in some spots); this plotline is... making me... nauseated... thud.

Oh, who do you think youíre kidding? Weíre all going to pick up Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, as we are drawn to it, like moths to a flame. Granted, an overly cutesy flame, but weíre still going to fry. And hey, look on the bright side. Remember a few years ago, when fans would have killed to get FFT ported to GBA? Now, weíre getting a whole new game.

I resent your dissing of the 'mexican wrestler'. Greco rules

...something tells me you didnít actually play a whole lot of the game with him, because Greco blows chunks out of every masked-covered orifice.

The Final Grumble:

Half the people I know have already beaten Zelda, and Iíve still got two days to wait. Next time, Iím robbing the delivery truck.

Andrew "I'm not a furry! I was born this way!" Duff

How can people who dress up in animal costumes be so uptight? Maybe the zippers stuck...

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