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Andrew - March '14- 12:00 Central Standard Time

When I was younger, I thought being shot multiple times by a machine gun from less then ten feet away could seriously injure or even KILL me. Well, thank you Xenosaga for showing me that thatís just an old wifeís tale! Hahaha! On to the letters!

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Xenogears. >_<
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Dragoony questions.

Just commenting on some of the recent discussions in the past few letter collumns. First off, contrary to your belief, the Zelda Pre-Order discs are EXTREMELY collectable, especially because the demand seems to have exceeded the supply. I've seen unopened boxes go for upwards of $100 dollars on E-Bay. So Nyah.

Secondly: Why does everyone complain about how long all of the XS games are going to take? Yeah, the 1st one took along time. But that's because it was the FIRST ONE. If Bandai can manage a .Hack game every 3 months, I think we'll see a hopefully Xenosaga Ep 6 within the next 2 or 3 years

Third: Even though it doesnít fall under our coverage, I'd like to suggest Dynasty Tactics to ANY Strategy game fan that is looking for something to bite into. It's THAT good4th: Speaking of Strategy Games, why is it that EVERY Strategy game on the GBA is either running on a Variant of the Tactics Ogre: Knight of Lodis or Advance Wars engine. I mean, Fire Emblem 6 was practically Advance Wars with Swordsmen....

And Final Fantasy Tactics Advance could be TO's long lost twin! And then there's the surprise Onimusha Tactics, which is ALSO using the TO engine...Have the developers ceased trying to create their own unique experience?
br>And finally: This is a public service announcement. Even with .Hack and Xenosaga out last month, DON'T ignore Dark Cloud 2 and Breath of Fire 5! Their both EXCELLENT games but had the bad timing to go against 2 heavily anticipated titles.

1. Last I checked they were going for around $15-30. So nyah to you.

2. Oh yes, hooray for more games with skewed battle systems that glory in characters giving long-winded speeches in the middle of being attacked. Now if youíll excuse me, itís time for my medication.

4. Well, why not? If people are buying the games, and enjoying them, game companies usually donít arbitrarily change a good thing. Well, unless itís the Castlevania series, but the folks at Konami are nutters.

5. What the hell was up with that? We donít get any games for January worth a damn, and suddenly we get four great, or least hotly anticipated, games in a matter of weeks! Are game companies trying to get low sales?!

Why guys torment their sisters.


While I have been generally lucky in terms of such things, there is one incident of woe in my past. I used to have a Sega Master System (stop laughing, that's not it), and due to the way our entertainment center was set up, we couldn't leave it plugged in all the time and it had to sit onthe floor while in use.

So there I am, happily playing through Phantasy Star for the bajillionth time, when my brother decides to eject a tape from the VCR sitting a couple feet above the SMS. Somehow, while pulling the tape out, he drops it and it lands on the console. Which resets. This alone is badenough, but to add insult to injury, this process also resulted in the game deleting all the save files.

Needless to say, I was not happy. I forget how long I fumed for (probably not much, since it was an accident), but I played the game several times after that, and it worked fine. I was much more careful about things occurring above the console after that.

I wouldn't be surprised if this incident is why I developed such a careful, almost reverent, method of dealing with my precious gaming things.

Bart, who's never scratched a CD. ever.

Thatís...bizarre. Maybe Sega made crap systems, but my Super Nintendo was near heroic in its ability to survive falls, liquids, and in one extreme case, being kicked into a wall. Anyway, I share your reverent view of gaming materials, always making sure to keep all gaming boxes and instructions, and always buying 1st party memory cards and controllers. My game is too important to trust a company called ďMad CatzĒ.

Why guys torment their sisters, part 2.

My worst RPG moment took place on a rainy sunday with nothing to do. Being the only one in the house at that time, I moved my Playstation upstairs to play and watch the thunderstorm. The storm was pretty cool, but no, there wasn't a power surge. Rather i had spent a good portion of the day chocobo breeding in FFVII. I never really took the time to get a golden chocobo and decided this would be a good day for that to happen. After hours upon hours of racing and breeding I finally got to a black one, all i needed to do was build it up a bit through racing and I was almost there. My sister got home and ran in to get to the tv, and although she was facing it as she ran in, she somehow didn't know it was on and raced to claim the area. I remember some sort of twanging noise as she kicked the power cable and the screen went blank. Then I realized that hadn't saved in a REALLY long time, if I did save at all. I haven't bred chocobos since.


Perhaps your sister sensed the stupidity of making large birds hump each other to earn the most powerful spell in the game, and performed an idiot savant miracle on the behalf of the universe.

...Iím sure that didnít stop you from kicking her ass though.

And one more tale from cord tripping hell.

Hrmm... There's been a lot. Let's just say divine irony loves to pick on me, since things don't just gowrong, per-se, but seem to locate the most enraging point in time to occur.

Anyway, here's my worst experience related to an rpg. I suppose having your sister spill coke all over the system the day you buy that game you've been drooling over for a year might be bad, but I decided to go with my FF7 story, *sigh*.

My first rpg was FFII, which I loved to death. In fact, when FFIII came out I shunned it away as somesort of stupid ripoff - like I found MQ to be. I guess MQ wasn't so bad, but *shrug* I wasn't that old at the time and bleh. You get the picture. Anyway, so I was stubborn.

Then some time in 97 I saw that commercial for FF7. It knocked my socks off, I just had to get that game. I forgave FF3, and played it through in the meantime... and felt very very stupid for thinking it was some knockoff. *laughs*. Anyway, I go out and buy a playstation (I didn't have one;P I was still big on SNES), and FF7. There's a little port over the controller... hrmm... memory card? What's that? Owell, I said, and I started playing FF7. When I found out I couldn't save I was slightly puzzled, then I put two and two together. Ugh. Well, I figured, I'd just playthrough and the next day I'd get the memory card.

Well, I played through, being very very careful not to get killed off. I made it through Midgar and all the way to Cosmo Canyon. By that point I was really tired and I went to bed, just turning the television off. When I left the room I nearly tripped over the power cord - which runs to the outlet behind the door:\ I breathed a sigh of relief and went to bed.

Next morning I got up, went to make sure the game was still playing fine, good, great. I went out, bought one of these memory cards ("Gripes, that's expensive, just to save!? why didn't it come with the system if I needed it so badly?" was basically what I said at the time:P I think It cost $15 or something.). I went home, all excited, and as I was walking into the room I tripped over the cord and wiped out my game. Ugh, I was pissed.

Hrmm... Actually I guess the worst was later on down the line, when I had one of those 360 saves in one cards. I had saves from FF7 FF8 BOF3 PE MGS and a dozen other games saved on it. 400+ hours on this one card. Darn thing glitched when I was pushing the button on the card to switch slots... Wiped out every save on the card. OOOOOOOOH I was so pissed off. I even had stratigically placed saves throughout each game for when I wanted to go back and check something out or play from a certain point. Ugh. Yeah, that was the worst. Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading about these little blurps of stupidity or lack of luck.


Your stories of woe make me laugh heartily! Ho ho ho!

Seriously though, your stories are pathetic. Both of them could have been prevented by using your brain before you gambled with your games. Half the people I know have fallen prey to the memory card wipe on 3rd party cards, and itís always baffled me why no one has set up a class-action law suit against these bastards selling their faulty products to penny-pitching money grubbers.

The search for the game that was never there.

RPG story of woe, eh? How about this? I missed out on the Suikoden games when they first came out, so I've spent the past two years searching every game store in Denver for them (no eBay for me; I'm too paranoid). And one day I walk into EB, and POOF! Used copies of both Suikoden I AND Suikoden II are sitting on the shelf...and I only have enough money for one of them. Damned economy.

I went with II, since everyone says it's better. Haven't regretted that decision, so I suppose it's all good, but I nearly had a screaming fit when it happened.

When the Zeldaís first came out for Game Boy, I picked up Seasons for $25, whomped it in a week, and decided to pick up Ages. So it stands to reason that every copy of Ages was sold out in every store within 100 miles of my house. Finally, after weeks of searching I found the game, but now it was for $35 bucks, and I found I didnít like Ages nearly as much as Seasons. I hate you, capitalism.

Hicks love Dragon Ball Z!

Well, I my story isn't quite the same as your last example, but it's kinda close. I live in a friendly little *cough*hick*cough* town and went to a friendly little locally-owned video store to rent either Xenosaga or .hack//infection to see if I liked either of them. They didn't have it, being the little locally owned place they were. I then went to the friendly little evil Blockbuster Video to see if they had either of them. They didn't have either of them either and in fact, all the games they had were of the craptacular and ultra-violent sort, such as DragonBall Z: Budokai and DragonBall Z: Battle Yell 'n "Speed Line" Simulator. I asked the friendly little clerk if they would have it and she hadn't heard of either of them and assuming she actually spelled the stuff correctly, said that they didn't carry either of those. Also, out of the one or two anime titles they had besides Pokemon, DBZ, and Sailor Moon, they all had little stickers on them that said "NC-17" even if they were rated by the MPAA as even PG-13. I then went back to the friendly little neighborhood locally-owned video store and went to rent The Ring, but some friendly little locals had taken out all of the copies. I ended up renting Reign of Crap, err, Fire.

One day I was at a local video store, when I noticed all the animes had that ďNC-17" sticker on them. Being 15 or so at the time, I couldnít understand, since I have seen many of the animes on TV that they had being for 17+ only. Angered, I asked a passing store clerk why these were all rated NC-17, when they were not in fact, in any way, pornographic, or violent. He shrugged, and turned to the next aisle, which was all porn. ďThatís why, kid.Ē

If I hadnít been physically prevented from renting or buying anime until turning 18, I would have been such a fan boy by now. Guess stupid company executiveís orders can be a good thing.

Why fantasy writers are such VIOLENT people.

Ah, I remember it like it were yesterday. Going up to my room to play a little final fantasy 7. Oh wait, I've forgotten my cool drink - it get's hot in costa del sol. Ok, heading back up again. Turning on the playstation... loading the game. Hmm, what's that? It appears my memory card is plus a crash bandicoot save and minus one final fantasy 7 save.... The paramedics found me up there 36 hours later, shards of a broken glass in my hands and a puddle of blood pooling on the floor, me in a catatonic state. (I made the last part up, it's part of the dramatic effect) Anyways, that really isn't the worst part. This was my first time through. I was right at the end. I had nearly everything. At least 100 hours racked up on that baby. This is because once I have beaten a game, there is no way I will be able to load back up the save and do bonus stuff. So I do it all first. Of course, now I haven't seen the end and I'm pissed. Apparently my brother's friend came over and saved over my memory card. (he was hospitalized a day later with multiple fractures. He "fell down some stairs") - more added effect details

But no, it doesn't really end there either. Because this is a tale of misery AND woe. Here's the woe part. A few monthes later I retake the task and begin anew. Soon I have reached the end after much hard work. Now, you're thinking, he must have learned his lesson right? He must have quickly finished the game right? Wrong. I foolishly play around with chocobo racing again, in the hopes of getting kotr again. The gods truely do not smile on me though. Because soon enough I go up to play and find the game save gone again. The whole card was corrupted. (It was a 3rd party one, interact i think, they recieved much hate-mail.) I proceeded to destroy it with a baseball bat, then ground up the remains into a fine powder by having it run over by a car. - not an added-effect detail.

There, now you have both miserey and woe. And on the subject of ff7, yes I did eventually beat it and saw the ending, it was all I could have hoped for. Sephiroth got his ass kicked royally. I backed up my saves every time onto two other cards *grin*

With both a younger brother and sister, Iíve take to hiding my memory card in a hollowed out copy of ďIdiotís Guide to Protecting your StuffĒ. Iíve got friends who prefer to just hide the power plug when their done playing, which I must say, is quite a clever idea.

I used to have quite the controller throwing problem, until I busted up my last SNES controller and couldnít save my game. Itís amazing how something like having to delete five hours of hard work because you couldnít control yourself makes a 9 year old grow the hell up.

Tales of woe, or whiny wannabe sailor scout?

Here are my Tales Of Woe:

1. I bought Crystalis GBC ON IMPULSE for $20. I haven't TOUCHED the thing since this summer--it's THAT BAD.

2. In 9th grade, I rented Chrono Trigger from the movie store one weekend. It was the first--and the LAST (for a while) time I ever played it, because it mysteriously vanished some time later. (I just recently beat the ROM version--how bad am I?)

3. I stayed up all hours playing Pokemon TCG one night, with my head resting against my behind-the-bed bookcase. Ended up the next day having to leave work because my head ached every time I would go upstairs. My mom wouldn't let me hear the end of it.

And this is the biggest Tale of Woe of all:I am so behind the times, it's not even FUNNY. My most advanced gaming system is a Game Boy Advance. I still have Super Nintendo and I buy all my Super Nintendo games almost 10 years after they were first released (Super Mario World) and have paid through the nose for some of them (FF2, SoM.) I've only played FF7 for 1 1/2 hours, and that's as far as I've gotten.

I'm not old school--the school's closed and I'm left out in the cold. How pathetic can one be...

Card Captor Ribby

1. Why you crazy old-school freak.

2. Whoops! I just ďlostĒ a $300 Playstation 2 that I can sell on Ebay for $1000! Deary me!

3. Ehehe. Iíve done that a few times myself. I used to sit in my chair very oddly when I was younger, and had hell to pay whenever I got up.

4. Hey, as long as youíre enjoying your games. The GBA must be a boon to someone who loves his old-school as much as you, eh?


Is there any place to find the voice credits for Xenosaga? Some of those people sound really familiar. I tried looking in the back of the manual and googling for it, but I came up empty handed.


Check the end of the game. Tiny print, scrolls by fast, hard to see. Good luck!

My worst RPG woe? Definitely getting pissed off at FFX's mini-games (chocobo racing w/ baloons, butterflies, etc.), and breaking my controller, having to glue it back together. There you have it.


Iíve never attempted to glue a controller back together. I suppose in theory it might work...but youíd have to have the most brilliant minds working on it!

The Final Grumble:

Quick, adorable little girl robot! Use your mystical powers to blow up this room full of mechs, even though Iím an ultra powerful cyborg with a death wish!

Andrew "Fedora" Duff

If you find'em though, let me see. I really want to check if chaos is Jen from The Dark Crystal.

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