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Andrew - March '2- 12:00 Central Standard Time

The long wait is over! The game has been picked, nay, forced upon me! Lets all celebrate with the dancing around of the maypole and the consumption of something that smells and tastes like nail polish! To the first letter!

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Fly The Copter!

Dude, you're getting a Xenosaga!

Ack! *blush*
Didn't expect that would be a printin' sort of letter. o_O

Anyhow, yeah, was serious, and no, I don't have a good reason (just having a good week, I guess, and besides, "why the hell not" is all that came to mind ^^).

I don't blame you on the address thing, plenty of random creepies out there. If there's a more-or-less official RPGamer mailing address you want it sent to, 3rd party style, that's cool. ^_^

A'right, so there you go. Shoot me some sort of mailing addr, and if you don't have some sort of gamespot/amazon confirmation forwarded to you by Sunday morning, then yeah, you're getting mail from another random bastard. Otherwise, well, I hope it ends up as more play than work. ^^


Rayme, Iíd like to think Iíve got the best readers, and your bizarrely kind generosity deserves a reward. When I get Xenosaga, Iíll play as much as I can, and then, this Friday, Iím offering you the chance to guest host a column with me. Whatís that? Youíd love to? Fantastic! Hooray!

Too bad the letter wasnít idiot checked too.


If you are a fan of Fly the Copter you should check out, home of similar(and in my opinion, far superior)game. My high score is 1929.

Next, an RPG related question. What the bloody, ruddy, muddy HELL is up with Cat Sith from FF7? An intelligent cat that rides an unidentified thing in a moogle costume, it just doesn't make sense!

*has conniptions*

~ Mauler "Spell checked for you convenience" Mithel

Well, I love sfcave. Itís the bastard brotherís cousinís college roommate of fly the chopper!

Cath Sith is in fact, a remote controlled killer who follows you around and rats out your plans to a certain evil corporation before realizing his folly and endeavoring to not only help you but bring said evil company down from the inside. And heís being operated by none other than one of the Turks! Ooo, intrigue!

Youíd think professional boxers could pick better role models.

'Sup Duff

Couple of comments...

First in regards to the guy looking to write about AI in video games, the best genre to look at would probably be sports games. For example looking at football games alone, you have the computer calling plays and subbing players. During gameplay blockers are "deciding" who to block, defenders in zone coverage deciding who to cover, QB's decide who to throw it to or whether to take off running, ball carriers decideng where to run, whether to juke, spin, etc.

(now for the segue from sports to rpgs)

Have you seen the Mike Tysonís tattoo, if not here:

Is it just me or is the former heavy champ a closet FF8 fan with a Zell fetish?

Now for the RPG goodness

I have Xenosaga, and thus far am enjoying it...except for the fact that the cinematic occasionally lock up for brief moments, which can be quite annoying during climatic moments. I read yesterdays letter from the guy whose PS2 died while playing the game, but have decided to continue to live in denial pf the fact that the same curse may be in store for me.

I also recent picked up Suikoden III and .Hack. I have liked Suikoden, but have been annoyed at times with the long periods of plying times needed in some stretches between points where you can save the game. .Hack has been enjoyable as well, though again i have one complaint, after playing the game for just a short amount of time i was able to acquire pretty much the best equipment available, which at first was cool but after the short burst of elation that there was pretty much no reason to go to the weapon shop or to trade anymore. No more excitement in acquiring a better weapon or piece of armor, at least for a while.

As for the funniest moment in an rpg, well how about a cheesy one...

In Xenosaga, when you get an email ad for Namco's Ninja Assault. Followed by Shions comment "I like games" I actually booed at the tv, and threw a rotten tomato at the PS2...come to think of it maybe thats why its locking up at times....

Well I've gone on long enough...


-harbinger of the inevitable heat-death of the universe

"End of the universe!!! But that's where I keep all my STUFF!!!"

I would have LOVED Zell if he had bit off a piece of Squallís ear.

2. When I get my hands on Xenosaga this week, expect for me to take the game apart. Mwhahaha!

3. There were ads in Robotrek too. Itís always amusing to see them, and I wish game companies would go one step further and let the player do the first level or so of the game their advertising. I mean, hell, if you have the space, why now?

Misadventures of the video game club.

In my many days of gaming, I have expierienced much hilarity in my gaming life. From that shitty Sailor Moon game for SNES to Dekar's stupidity to Ryudo's remarks to Breath of Fire 2's laughable translation, I have seen many funny things. However, there is one funny thing that stands out above the rest.

Yesterday, I bring a Gamecube to school for a club I started with my friends (mistake the first). Being late to first period, I take the tranquil opportunity to put the system away. After placing said system in the locker (mistake number 2), I continue my day as usual, even stopping by my locker for lunch. You can probably guess where this is going, but after a conveniently placed fire drill at the end of the last period of the day flushed all the rabble (except me) from the school, I return to get my system and start the club. Lo and behold, there's no system. Not only is there no system, there's no Wavebird, there's no Super Monkey Ball, there's no Super Smash Brothers: Melee, and there's no fucking memory cards. So I lost $350 of hard/software to some rat bastard thug because I'm a complete and utter moron.


Oh, the funny part is, I never took Suikoden 3 out of my backpack, so I managed to keep one disappointing game that I'll probably never play again.

That was the saddest day of my life. And it happened...uh.....yesterday.


Sucks to be you, zitanix. Maybe now youíve learned the folly of sharing!

Bug the school about the incident. Check around and see if there are any kids who have been known to break into lockers, and see if you can get them to fess up; ie talking to them about how you just got a bunch of stuff stolen, and see if they start grinning. Good luck, el capetain! Fighto!

God knows heís funny. Laugh, puny mortals! Laugh!

hola amigo,

I bought Xenosaga on Thursday[i wouldve got it the day it came out, as i was anxiously awaiting it, but I was snowed it...God must think hes funny], but due to my busy schedule I wasnt able to sit down until this afternoon. I played for six hours straight and I must say that it is an incredible game so far.

I mean, I think it is so well refined that its pathetic. The story is nothing short of stellar. KOS-MOS has only been around for awhile and I believe she is one the most KICK ASS characters in RPG history. She is no bullshit hardcore butt stomping. Which KIND OF brings me to my question... Xenosaga is a Six part story. I was wondering if its going to be possible to complete the ENTIRE story arch. What if by episode three the sales are way down and it doesn't seem practical to continue on? Has NAMCO already made a solid commitment to go the distance with this? And if so, will it span two or more consoles? I KNOW that it wont all be on the PS2, as the PS2 is entering middle age and its starting to bitch about how back in its day...nevermind that. From what Ive seen Xenosaga has the potential to be one of the greatest RPG's Ive ever played and Im sure itll rank high with everyone else, guaranteeing an episode two, but can NAMCO mess this up two episodes down the road and have to abort? Im curious as to your thoughts as its a huge undertaking to start a six part story spanning six DIFFERENT games in this day of whimsical consumerism.

elliott |

What if monkeys take over our servers? What if Google is really female? What if .hack has poor sales? Why is this thing on my pinky finger getting bigger? Where Iíd put my pants? Why doesnít the next Lufia game have a solid release date?

In short, poor sales could cut off the series, but judging from the vast numbers of giggling fan girls and overly-serious fan boys the series seems to have collected, Iíd say the chances of not getting all the games are rather low.

On the other hand, the chances of more then two of the sequels sucking male anatomy are pretty good.


Hello, Andrew. Nice topic, that. Funny game moments.

Personally, most of my funnygame moments are when some dialogue - either plot scenes or not - strikes me as funny. Most anything brought over by those zany yet incredibly skilled translators at Working Designs contains dozens of such moments, for example.

As for actua moments in the games that are amusing...

SPOILERS (in order): Lunar 2, Grandia, Star Ocean 2, Threads of Fate, Phantasy Star IV

Well, Mystere has to take the cake. The character is just so outrageously overdone it's hilarious.

The scene in Grandia where you meet Gadwin (incidentally, the coolest person in that game). This scene is jsut too much spoilage for me to dare reveal everything, but the way Justin takes Gadwin's comments wholly the wrong way and makes a complete and utter fool of himself is to die for.

The character of Ashton Anchors. I mean, com on, he has dragons on his back!

Playing Threads of Fate as Mint. I mean, really, how many game heroes do you know of that want to take over the world?

Raja's flippant attitude about the destruction of his temple (raining spaceships?), and his self-invitation to your party.

I could go on, but that would require me remembering things from games I haven't played in ages.

Yeah, funny moments in games are cool.

-Kenneth Whitten, a.k.a. Lumina Dragon

P.S. Yesterday was the Kalends of March, not the Ides. The Ides are on the fifteenth, and mark the 2047th anniversary of the assassination of Julius Caesar. (And for the record, the Nones of March are on the 7th. Yeah, I'm a Rome buff.)

Mystere is the everyman hero, even if heís so flamboyantly flamboyant people everywhere feel mildly uneasy just knowing he exists.

Justin takes everything the wrong way. Like the whole romantic boat ride with Feena. Talk about a complete ripoff. Here I am trying to get in her pants and heís TOTALLY making a fool of himself. Stupid puberty, kick in already!

Ashton rocks. If I was a master swordman with dragons on my back, Iíd have my own game.


I found this one earlier this year, and now all my friends are cursing my name for telling them about this. One spent several hours playing it when he had an exam the next day. It's addicting as opium, and a lot of fun.



This game is the only possible way I could condone getting high or drunk. Woo, man! Itís like, coming right at my head! Whooooooooa!

We dubbed the helicopter game defeated long ago when we accomplished this beauty:

Ever played the soccer ball game?

- Mag Roader

Hooray! A winner is you! Now, no more scores peoples!

To answer the reader who asked the name of the colony ship from the opening of Xenogears, it would be the Eldridge, a Philadelphia class immigration ship.


You people make me sick. Or at least, slightly terrified of meeting any of you in a dark alley.

in kingdom heart how do u get the keyblade in alice in wonder land level and where is alice

I could answer, but judging by your incredibly poor grasp of the English language, you wouldnít understand my response.

The Final Grumble:

Well, now that the game Iím getting has been settled, I donít want any letters on Xenosaga, since youíll be hearing about impressions of the game next weekend, whether you like it or not.

Next weekís topic is-

Embarrassing moments in RPGs. Not for the characters, but for you. Did Zidaneís cheesy pick up lines make you cringe? Celesí singing debut get muted out? Is anyone not embarrassed by Rena for the first hour of Star Ocean 2? Geddoe and his band of mercenaries make anyone else cover their eyes and groan? Was a certain blue-skinned queen of evil so lame you felt sorry for her?

Well there you go. Have fun, play your games, and watch out for snakes.

Andrew "Moocher?! Never!" Duff

This week, lets all send Google letters about why his fans deserve nekkid pictures of her!

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