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   Curse Me Heart o' Gold!   

Andrew - January '24- 12:00 Central Standard Time

Notice the link for Ghost Cat? Read it. Read the archives. Laugh. Send me other great, unknown artists for me to plug, theyíll do guest comics, make everyone happy.

...okay, so Iím just happy that I found a comic that doesnít do story arcs that last months. Sue me. With love.

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DOA: Volleyball

War of the Nerds.

Andrew,

I think the coolest genre-mix would be a Tactics-MMORPG game in which there is a war between two sides (which you could choose to be on) who are fighting for world supremacy. The people who play can get their "rank" up and whatnot, allowing them to order others around. You could refuse orders (and be punished for it), become the hero of a battle, switch which side of the war you were on and become a spy, etc. Then, when the war is over, (and designated programmers could turn the tides to make sure it doesn't end too soon) a book outlining the war, major events/people, etc. would be published. With the purchase of the game, you would choose whether or not to pay extra money (10-20 dollars or so) and get the book of the war when the game ended, or just wait and pay around 30 dollars for the book later. The coolest part would be the CD that comes with the book- it would have FMV sequences of all the greatest battles. Man, I went into detail! This is probably nigh impossible to make, but I can dream... Oh, and Legend of Legaia had a cool battle system. Well, it was the first RPG I really played all the way through besides Pokemon,(Hey, I was only 8! That was 4 years ago! Ok, I am still a "kid") though, so I may have been excited by the way there was HP and that kind of stuff without bringing out Pokemon.

"I say, if life gives you a lemon, throw it back and add a few lemons of your own."

--Ewcoolio

Andrew:
Great idea, Ewcoolio. Iíd definitely buy a game like that. Frankly, itís a brilliant plan, you get the players in with dreams of glory and battle, and then sell them a book so they can relive their exploits.

 
Musical dragons.

Yo. Just thought I'd mention that Panzer Dragoon Orta is somewhat of a shooter RPG. There are 3 forms of your dragon that have different stats, and as you play, there are items that go towards leveling up the dragon form that you are currently in when you pick up the item. It's neat and it adds some strategy and planning to the mix. Oh, and also, for those who would love to play a second Panzer Dragoon Saga, please go buy PD Orta. Sega said that they have a plan for PDS2 and would make it depending on how Orta sells. And believe me, Orta is totally not a waste of money. It's incredible.

If this gets posted, let me take a minute to plug something of mine the readers here may be interested in; I remixed "Forgotten Days" from the Suikoden OST. It's here. Thanks! Sweet column!

-SuperGreenX

Andrew:
Hmm. A game where you ride a dragon, and brutally cut your way through swaths of enemies, and have the ability to level your flying death engines? Count me in.

And hey, cool remix. By the power of GREY SKULL, I command All readers to listen to Greenís work.

 
When I am King.

To the sarcastic bunny:

I think I have found a conspiracy. br>
I have the original instruction booklets to Final Fantasy I and Dragon Warrior I. They both are not only the same size, but also are called "Explorers Handbook" at the bottom in the exact same font and point size! Maybe Square and Enix were in cahoots since the NES... br>
Or maybe I'm just nuts... br>
"Nobody wants you to be king!!!"
-Delita br>
NeoCarbuncle

Andrew:
Wait. How would this be a conspiracy? I mean, I use Times New Roman, and Iím sure millions of others do when they type, and I bet a lot of those people use size 12 too. Weíre not all in cahoots, though itíd be cool if were. (DIE ARIAL USERS! MWHAHAHAHA!) I mean, the chances of the companies using the same name with the same stats isnít that unlikely, considering that both are offspring of the dark god, Latex.

...what?



Quickies

I resent that comment about a sex life with your right hand! What about us lefties?

Er, I donít know. Iíve never talked to a leftie about their masturbation habits. I always assumed it involved mustard and fishing hooks.

The Final Grumble:

Wondering where all the letters are? Me too. Then I checked last Sundayís column, and silly me! I forgot to give you guys a topic! Well, let me rant a bit first, and youíll see what this weekendís topic is.

Skies of Arcadia. I actually bought this game, and a Dreamcast, years ago on Googleís praise that it was an awesome game. And you know what? I hated it. Hated the character designs,(Is that Pippi Longstocking on my team?!) hated the atypical story,(recover the moon stones! I mean crystals! I mean, bejeweled monkey heads!) and I deeply hated the random battles.

Every few steps another banal fight. All of them took over a minute, were ALWAYS costly to my parties hp and mp, and worse, gave very little in rewards for my hard work. It was agonizing. Worse still were the airship battles. A thrilling concept to be sure, but DAMN. Were they long! And boring! Imagine two airships circling each other for 20 minutes, usually waiting for some story guided element to let you win/lose.(ďArr! Now, matey! Use thar harpoon!Ē) After ten hours of this game, I simply threw down my controller and gave my Dreamcast a hefty kicking for being so bad to me.

Now, donít get me wrong. Skies of Arcadia does have a wonderfully imaginative world, but that still doesnít detract from the games painful downfall, in that it simply failed to be fun.

Now, thatís my opinion. If you disagree, send it to Google, because I really donít care why you think Skies of Arcadia should roxxors my soxxors. What I do want to hear are about the games that you were looking forward to, and that let you horribly, horribly down.

So get on it. When was the last time you had the chance to throw your opinion out to thousands of people and have them actually listen?

Andrew "Friday!" Duff

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