Situation X
All jokes aside today. Sorry.

With Thor leaving, I really hate to start this out on a negative tone. But this is too large a matter for me to just idly pass over and pretend it didn't happen. If you feel like flaming me, do it to my face. Don't snivel and crack about me to Thor or any other staff member behind my back on this column. I'm big enough to take a few insults and hate mail; I understand that any who take the position of Q&A should expect to put up with it, and like anyone, there's that percentage of readers who have it in for me. But if you still won't take up your problems with me, I have a nice bridge to sell you over the Bermuda Triangle. So step up, or vent your lameness elsewhere. Wakarimasu ka?

By the same token, I should say the same for Thor(who will most likely return eventually) or anyone else. Don't flame them to me, take it up with them. As he said, it's just cowardly. Though I'm still not sure why Thor chose to print an all-out, full scale flame of me and make the readers aware that it wasn't the only one(see Monday's column, assuming the letter wasn't fake), I won't stoop to using that same tact against him.

Yeah, I'm angry. I'll do my best to bury the axe as time passes, and I'll still defend Thor as he did for me whenever it happens next, despite his dubious motives for that whole printing. Barring such incidents happening again, our "potshots" at each other will remain friendly. :)

One last thing - if you have a problem with the relevance of content on my columns, try sending in letters that are more relevant to "legitimate gaming". What I print mainly reflects what I receive, and there haven't been many relevant questions lately. Hence the "Ramen and RPGirls" filler(and hey, if Thor can rant about Teri Hatcher and the like I have every right to touch on my own indulgences now and then if need be). I'm sorry for all you readers who had nothing to do with any of what I talked about. Hey, I'll try not to be too grumpy from here on, ok? :)

Nintendo DVD?
Michael, Michael, Motorcycle,

GameSpot says that Nintendo's new system (codenamed Dolphin) will play DVD movies. If this is true, do you think that this will force Sony to include DVD playback in their new system?

-The Bad Guy

Michael: I don't remember all the tech spechs of the PS2, but I think I plugged it one weekend. I'm not sure how this will influence Sony, but even if they decide not to, keep in mind a powerful system is nothing without games to match. The 32-bit PSX is far outselling the vapid Nintendo 64, which doesn't have much beyond a pre-teen audience anywhere other than the US(hey, just compare our coverage).
ulp... hi!

Hello, sweetums!!! (I've always wanted to call you that, Mike Tidwell, but don't ask me why...) First off: I think you're sweet!! People should stop making fun of you, those meanies!! Do a good job on the Q&A column, and get the praise you deserve, dang it! :D

Yes, I'm a suck-up, aren't I? *sigh* But I really do think you're sweet, and do a fine job at this site. On to the questions, dahling!

1. Why does SaGa Frontier get bashed so much? I really wish it would have been a little more linear, but most people act like it's the worst game in existance! Oh come on, can't you sillies just admit, that at SOME point in the game, you had fun? (Dr.Nusakan is my fave. ^_^)

2. Are you going to put Ehrgeiz into the games section? It does have that little dungeon thing in it, and it also has characters from FF7. It COULD pass off as an RPG/Fighting game....(in this one, I love Vincent! He's wonderful!!)

3. Please help me start the club "Get Rid Of Annoying Heroines". GROAH for short. Irritating little heroines include (but are not limited to): Rutee (Tales of Destiny), Nina (Breath of Fire 3 [and 2, IMHO]), and Lucretia (not really a heroine, but the most irritating female I've ever seen...and I AM an irritating female..)

Thank you, Darling!!



First off, I'm not Mike Tidw--er, wait, am I? :) (nah, better not take advantage of this never got me far in Dragon Warrior 3. And she might be a friend of my mom's.) okay, I'm not. But thanks for the praise to balance off my current doom and gloom.

1) Sorry. As I mentioned months ago, twisted Hanna-Barbera rejects from hell don't--woah! I promised I wouldn't bash it anymore, didn't I?(sorry, MC :) Okay, all venom aside: I personally hated the plot, hated each and every part of the atmosphere, hated how it looked, felt and smelt. Non-linearity had nothing to do with it, I would love a nicely executed non-linear game as would most RPGamers. And I think what I hated about it is some of what turned off the most flamboyant haters of the game...right, Mr. Lansing?

2) I doubt it. That would be like Thor trying to fit into the Miss American Pageant again, which became a disaster last year(his hammer swings both ways, couldn't help it I guess. Then he tries to pin me as the flaming drag queen. Read the original Norse myth for the real truth :). Well, you get my point; Ehrgeiz is a fighting game, plain and simple.

3) I have the utmost respect for a good heroine who deserves it, but annoying ones get my goat as much as anyone's. I can't really pick out any RPG pet peeves, but...see Kai Winn, "eminence" on DS9(or whatever her name is) for someone I'd really like to show to the business end of an airlock.

American Pride and Prejudice

Did you say that no American cartoons made past the eightees were good? Excuse me, but what about Pinky & the Brain, or any of Matt Groening's creations? Plus, the Eightees was far from flawless. Can you say "Superfriends?" What about "Thundercats?" I know I'm going to offend some fanatics out there by mentioning those two mindless creations, but I prefer some intelligence in my programming, so that parents can stand to watch cartoons with their kids. Pinky & the Brain being the best, because childern can laugh at Pinky, while Brain's comments are often only caught by an older audience. Don't generalize so much.

Yeah, Superfriends was pretty mindless and Thundercats never caught my interest. But have you compared Voltron to Power Rangers, Transformers then to Beast Wars now?(okay, Beast wars isn't bad. The stories are actually richer, but the world is tiny, the characters jokes compared to the original).

and while we're once again off the main subject of this column, here's another thing: cartoons meant for kids have no business putting in jaded content so the "grown-ups won't be bored". Being bored so your kid can grow up mentally and emotionally intact is part of every parent's responsibility, and as it is we have far too many little kids acting like teenagers at an early age from most of the garbage spat out on 90s television(believe me...having siblings in grade school who watch that stuff, I know this).


What the Hell is wrong with you Letter/Q&A guys? First all these crappy, useless RPGamer guys leave one after another, then the unthinkable....Jay Boor left PSM Online. I read the columns over there for another few weeks, then just stopped. They were never the same. Now Thorangutan has left us. No more ThOral reports (well..typed responses to be more exact), no more ThOrgiastic ThOrchestrations on Thursday Thorsday Madness, no more ThOrbiting the Earth with Thor to talk to the ThOriental folks across seas, no more ThOriginal pics of Anime Thor, and no more putting up the ThOrnaments on the Christmas tree in December....We are all left as ThOrphans. This one is for you Thor: Crabbit. Lance


Hey now, you'll survive. Thor isn't gone forever, just um...indefinitely. Q&A is a heavier burden than most people anticipate when they throw themselves at the chance(like last October). Doing a column right takes a good 4-5 hours for Thor and I both, and probably most others. When push comes to shove, and occasionally small clumps of what the outer world calls a social life begin to solidify and spoil the smooth brew of our wit, the job has to be passed on to one with less of a life. Me, for instance...I might be filling in for Thor, at least some of the time.

Am I...The One?

Michael, Thors apprentice, I have but one question to ask of you. Are you the one chosen to carry on Thors legacy? Were all those weekends of toiling away when Thor could not, preparation? well, we shall see. we shall see. . . . .

the damnable flammable ben kid

Michael: Apprentice?! Ack. I'm no bloody apprentice(well, maybe Sakaguchi's), and being almost 21, certainly not Thor's.

Anyhow, as to the question of me replacing Thor(look here, look now, look all): I don't know. Maybe. I'd certainly like to be able to, as long as my access to the internet here isn't limited too much until I get my own phone line(I Really miss ethernet during the summer...). However, I also have about a million doubts and fears. I really wonder if I'm good enough for full time Q&A, and I'm always afraid I'd get old too fast during the week, run out of ideas, etc...who knows :/ We'll see what the old lady in the kitchen says, and assume the opposite.

a little game discussion in my Q&A, waiter


Do you know anything about Brigandine? Like how good it is? I think I'm going to buy it. C'mon Mike, guide me.

-Matt- Has Spoken

Rent it for a few days first. I've heard conflicting opinions.
Indecent Proposal(Xenogears spoilers)
Hey Mike,

I'm in the middle of playing through Xenogears for the second time and there's something that has been bugging me since my first time through. Just before you leave Nortune to check out the military base, Hammer suddenly mentions that he has to talk to Elly. So the screen fades out, fades back in and everyone is ready to go. When you talk to Hammer, he seems embarrassed about it and won't tell you what he talked to her about. However, the game never explains their little exchange of unwritten dialogue. So being the disgusting pervert that I am, I let my mind wander. Could they have been solicitating? And if so how much was offered? Did Billy's 3000 a night story be in any way relevant? No, but seriously, although there isn't much dialogue between both of them, it always seems as if Elly knows Hammer much better than she lets on. For instance, at the part on the second CD, it mentions that Elly cried all night. However, the player is lead to believe that they are nothing more than brief acquaintances.

What's you're take on this?


PS: You're doing a tremendous job! I think you are a refreshing change after a week of wild Thorisms. Keep it up!

Michael: I actually found that pretty odd myself. If I were Elly, I'd be a little less sympathetic for his cowardly guts after shooting her mother dead like that and spilling her blood everywhere, not to mention trying to kill the rest of them later.

As for the naughty implications, consider how long the Xenogears team was locked in that little cubicle of a room hacking out the script and code without companionship of the opposite gender. It could happen to you someday.

and thanks(again) for the bit of confidence :)

color GB or N64?
Yo Grand Lord Greenhut,

While taking a look on RPGamer's E3 coverage, I saw that Natsume has decided to port Lufia III on Game Boy Color! Well, that was unexpected indeed! But is it really a good idea?? I mean, I like the GBC's graphics and all, but we're talking about porting a RPG on a console that, excuse me, has a real poor quality of music. Wouldn't it be better to release Lufia III on N64 instead? That'd rock!! At last a real good RPG on N64!! What do you think about it?

Death Motion


I think it's a great idea(hey, I might actually get into Lufia then). Unfortunately, Nintendo doesn't. It might simply be too much effort for the N64's heavily 3D eye-candy engine, and Mr. Yamauchi might not be so open to a non-shallow idea that might not line his pockets with the money of pre-teens across the world.

He's big, he's bad, he's Gohan

I noticed you didn't print my second editorial, why not? I knew people wouldn't like what I said, and I responsed rightly. I thought you weren't partial even against extreme opinions. At least Drew wasn't, he seems to handle it better than you. I would still edit it and resend, but if you won't print it I won't bother. Sucks being unpopular, huh?

-Stephen Gohan

Michael: I think you could answer that one best. And if you want to resend, go ahead, but if you continue to ignore my twice or thrice warning about no downright crude comments or outright swearing, I'll continue to laugh at you with the rest of my friends.
Need academ--er, game counseling?
Ask Michael
(D is for "Diploma!")
Try the Archives
Now Playing
Legend of Legaia / Ehrgeiz
Any day now...

Michael's mirror

Again, I bet most of my letters come between now and tomorrow. Why is that?

I'm sleepy, but at least finals are over. Begging professors via e-mail don't get you very far. I ask for a C-, she offers an F. I'm glad we reached an understanding.

RPG Darwin Award:

After playing FF7 for a bit less then a month (most of it spent Chocobo breeding), I figured I was ready to go kill Seph. About half-way through the last dungeon, I noticed something. In the main menu, there was this little option I had never seen before called "Limit."


Shadow Zero Attack Mega! Michael "scraping the bottom" Greenhut

© 1998-2017 RPGamer All Rights Reserved
Privacy Policy