Does Shanoyu realize that Jerry Falwell is NOT talking about console RPGs? The idiots who went on an idiot murdering rampage played dungeons and dragons and "war" and other RPGs, not Xenogears or Final Fantasy or anything. Role Playing Game does not have to mean a game that you buy for playstation or your computer.

There are plenty of "unofficial"[read: illegal] groups and sites that translate Japanese RPGs. Plugging them here, even non-shamelessly, would get me shafted pretty quickly. I suggest altavista, it works wonders.

Learning Japanese can be challenging (I'm doing it now), but ultimately rewarding if you put enough work into it. Two semesters will get you to the level of understanding bits and pieces of anime without reading the subtitles(nando kore wa?! = "what the hell is this?!") but a lot more studying is needed to understand most of imported games.

OK, I know you're probably getting a lotta letters on this, but I got a lot I want to say....

As most of us know, there are some people blaming the incident in Littleton (which, btw, is 60 miles from where I live) entirely on the video game industry. There are many people who have written in to RPGamer denouncing that claim and saying that the blame rests entirely on their environment, parents, etc.

Alrighty, I just wanted to say that despite my love for video games, I AGREE (to an extent) with those that say they caused the violence at Columbine. Don't get me wrong -- I also believe that several other factors played into their behavior. However, violent video games desensitize the people from that violence. It will not necessarily cause the player to enact what they see (with some notable exceptions), but they may not regard violence with the same respect as others. Their environment, their parents, and their peers play a major part, but video games also factor into the equation as well.

I do see some truth in this; violent, gratuitously bloody first-person shooter games played by fans of blood, gore and violence will most definitely boost their testosterone, sometimes to the point of doing dangerous things.

But not all games and gamers are like that. How many times has Crystalis, Final Fantasy or Suikoden given you underlying murderous tendencies? How often has Zelda made you want to dress in green elven costumes and hackslash innocent people to death?(uh, rhetorical question) As for FF7, the idea was to portray Sephiroth as evil, bad, screwed up, mucho wacked. i.e. wrong. He killed Aeris, and that made me want him destroyed, not everyone else. Most RPGamers are different, more elevated and intelligent than the average testosterone-hooked action gamer. At least I'd like to think so. There's us, and there's them.

I've been seeing, as we all have, the definition-of-an-RPG question rise and fall often... and I think I've come up with a pretty good answer to the question. You see, most people try to be to specific in their definitions, whereas my definition is far from that... in fact, I still see it as a little too specific... (oh, and those of you on #rpgamer might have seen this already - join us and you'll get to hear not-really-cool-stuff like this all the time ;)...

An RPG is not defined by it's gameplay, or it's graphics, or it's setting. An RPG is defined by intention - the intention to tell a story. While some games, such as Metal Gear Solid, do tell a story, they focus much more on gameplay; whereas an RPG will, or at least tries to, focus on the story above all else. A game that is intended to do that can and should be called an RPG.

Dear (wait a minute, you aren't dear) Michael,

Thor got several of these, and you didn't. Well, I'm here to change it, in my own, twisted way. Mwahaha.. Prepare to read a bunch of random crap that doesn't make much sense!

FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: I shink it shucks. THE JOHNNY GUY: HERE WE ARE AND GOOD FIGHT, GOOD NIGHT FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: Like doood, it hazhn't even shtarted yet, shtoopid. THE JOHNNY GUY: OH THATS GOOD BECAUSE I HAVE TOOTH CANCER FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: Okee, itsh Michael Greenhut vershush Mishter Tea THE JOHNNY GUY: I HEAR NOMURA TETSUYA STOLE MR TEA'S IMAGE FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: Shuttup yew idiot. JUDGE MILLS LANE: I suck because I think I'm cool but I'm really not so get it on *Michael Greenhut throws an elderly citizen at Mr Tea and inflicts 2847 damage because the elderly citizen is rabid and has razor-sharp dentures FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: Itsh amazhing, becuzh that guysh my grandpahh THE JOHNNY GUY: OMIGAWD YER SO NAIVE. FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: I'm alsho from duh mewn. *Mr Tea baps Michael Greenhut with about 1,493 gold chains, but it doesn't do any damage points because he doesn't even play RPGs... *Michael Greenhut counterattacks because he has a black belt, which doesn't make sense, but RPGs seldom do and I'll shuttup now THE JOHNNY GUY: WHOAA DID YOU SEE HOW CRAPPY THAT WAS! I BET WHOEVER WROTE THIS THING IS GOING TO MAKE MICHAEL GREENHUT WIN, BECAUSE HE WANTS THIS POSTED FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: Knock on woood. Tshshhs RODENT-LIKE MAMMAL: Like, what are you saying!? Use Lumina! *Mr Tea sputters incoherent Ebonics at Michael Greenhut which causes all negative status ailments "HOOKED ON EBONICS WORKS FOR MEE!" FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: Dat shettlesh it, Mr Tea ish duh winner. THE JOHNNY GUY: DONT COUNT ON IT MR PERSONHEAD MAN FaNKo DeMON GUy: I ushed rename card. Wait, Michael Greenhut ish attacking! *Michael uses his Limit Bread, which he bakes to perfection until it's golden brown. He becomes naked and twirls around dizzily, and he magically dresses into a pansy's sailor outfit, and he becomes embarrassed. "ON BEHALF OF THE LOCAL BAKERY... I WILL PUNISH YOO!" He throws his wheat roll at Mr Tea, creating high frequency ebonics and he blows up and returns to the negaverse guys!! FUNKEE DIAMOND GUY: I don't get it, but I shink my fashe ish veddy pretty. shshs ^.^ michael greenhut has won the fight, and my sneakers claim to be dainty! ^.^ THE JOHNNY GUY: GOOD NIGHT GOOD FIGHT WAHOOO!!

"Ramen"? Why? I don't get it...oh well, here's the point: I just read the bit about a guy in Zelda II saying "I am error," and it came to me: allegory! As you no doubt recall from whatever Rennaisance literature classses you may or may not have taken, in the first canto of the first book of Edmund Spenser's Faerie Queene, The Redcrosse Knight defeats a beast representing human frailty called, that's right, Error (well, "Errour," actually--darn that crazy Elizabethan spelling)! Of course, that Error was a big, scary monster, but as we all know from long and tedious nights of reading, sins take many forms, and are never truly defeated: so what we have in Zelda II is an allegorical representation of "Error". Why he doesn't try to overcome Link is anyone's guess: perhaps his the blazing aura of righteousness surrounding him is just too much.

1) As far as I know, they're the same. If I'm wrong, I call on you faithful readers to beat me over the head and correct me on this. In such an event, I'll e-mail you back and let you know asap.

2) She's 18 in the first half in the game, 19 in the second. Do the subtraction of the flashback and you'll have her age, though if I remember correctly she was a newborn.

Sadly, companies often sell themselves as whatever the public desires most, rather than what they actually are. The FF7 commercials basically emphasized "save the world" with lots of pretty FMV shots, without any mention of the plot or special qualities that keep long-time FF worshippers coming back for more. I'm as annoyed as the next guy if not more so, but if this kind of advertising is what keeps these games coming to American shores, there isn't much we can do.

step 1: Don't Panic. Okay Lisa...I have no idea in all of the bloody sheep clone factories in England exactly how you got Gala without Noa. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's completely and utterly impossible seeing how you're forced to acquire Noa before Vahn's beginning travels are even finished. I could be wrong, of course. I'm still early in the game. And anything is possible for the gamer who spends enough time doing anything and everything, I suppose, but...this is highly irregular. Hmm...what to do, what to do...(no cue cards for this?!) Okay. I'm not panicking either.

Dear Mikhael, Archangel of Ego Stranglification--

That's to satisfy your cravings for a vaguely religious title, since that charming rat bastard Thor "stole your thunder"-- heh heh. (Everything seems funny at 2:11 a.m., ne? :)

Anyway, I shall now ask you this stupefying question-- Thor has said repeatedly how sick he is of FF7-related questions, especially ones as bass-ackwards as the one I'm about to ask you now. But because I've never seen it before, it must be asked. It's practically asking to be asked.

Several weeks ago, I was playing my beloved game yet again, complete with a Cid who's higher level than Cloud...the way it ought to be. Anyway, I had Nanaki-chan in my party, and the three of us went to slaughter some bandersnatches on the Northern Continent.

After destroying bandy after bandy, catastrophe struck. First of all, the little buggers cast that obnoxious "Howling" spell of theirs, thus reviving one of their fallen. "Wow. That's kind of...neat," I murmured, a glazed look falling across my features as I pondered the Chocobo breeding I was soon to attempt...again. (Being obsessed is a dangerous occupation, folks.)

The next thing I knew, a menu bar had appeared at the top of the screen. But instead of revealing some essential bandersnatch weakness or explaining their genetic relationship to kalm fangs and nibel wolves, it merely read--

"Learned Limit Skill Cosmo Memory!"

Now, ladies and gentleman...it was true that Nanaki hadn't gotten his Level 4 Limit Break yet. But since when are limits referred to even somewhat like enemy skills? Since when did howling bandersnatches result in such a stroke of incredible luck? Had I been eating too many Zeio Nuts? Had I watched the Kalm Flashback one too many times? Did it have anything to do with saying "...Ding"?

I tossed all of this carelessly aside and raced to my triangle button. But my feeble expectations proved to be limper than an overcooked ramen noodle. Nanaki still had 'Howling Moon.' Nothing had changed.

Two words: what gives?

This is the one FF7 mystery I still haven't figured out. If you, Michael, can answer this...then...you oughtta go and frolic outside more; it's good for you. (^-^)

If anybody else can answer this...perhaps you're even more of an FF7 otaku than me, and the apocalypse truly is upon us.

That's a lot of message for one dinky little question! I talk too much. The end.

Quibbles 'n' bits 'n' bits 'n' bits,

Areia

a.k.a. "Mulberry Field Bodyguard"