I choose hammer-and-nails over duct tape.
     Tuesday, June 26, 2001 "with fingernails that shine like justice"     


Good day, folks. Welcome to my column. Yesterday, a group of friends and I were the very first customers at the new International House of Pancakes location here in Springfield, MO. The food was great, and we all got to sign the store's first dollar bill, which they're going to frame. It was a good time.

I've been playing quite a bit of Sonic Adventure 2, and I have to concur with the complaints of everybody else: you don't get to play as Sonic nearly enough, and the other levels in the game aren't fun enough to warrant not playing as Sonic. Still a good game, though. I've also been watching quite a bit of anime. "Jubei-Chan" is some funny, funny stuff. Beware the bamboo forest. Moving on...

Games I'm Playing
Sonic Adventure 2
Zelda: Oracle of Ages
Rayman Advance
Dance Dance Revolution
Last Five Columns
  • 06-24-01
  • 06-23-01
  • 06-22-01
  • 06-21-01
  • 06-20-01
    Guess the Quote Contest
    Everybody's favorite contest-of-sorts from RPGuides followed me to the letters column! Try to guess (be specific) the quote towards the top of the page. If you're the first one to email me with the correct answer, I'll mention you in the next day's column.

    First of Common Knowledge
    "They Made Up Their Minds, And They Started Packing..."

    "The Way" by Fastball.

    A lot of people knew where last time's quote was from, but scifantasy here was the first. Today's quote should prove more difficult, though!

    I Like Swords
    Hey, Aegis.

    I'm really excited about FF chronicles coming out because I never got to beat FF4 when I was little. I was banned from playing my cousin's SNES after leaving it on all night. Anyway, I wanna talk about swords. Swords are great! I was gonna buy one, but I couldn't because it was considered an assault weapon and I'm under 18. Crap. So yesterday I saw an email about Dark Cloud and the Shamshir. That's basically the Persian word for sword (yes, I speak Persian). Also, the Masamune. Every Final Fantasy I've played has had one, except 9, but just cause I couldn't find it, doesn't mean it's not there. That was a name of a very skilled Japanese smith. Swords made by Masamune were considered very good, and people weilding them supposedly had great fortune. The Murasame, in FF2/4J and FF7 was named after the smith Muramasa, who was considered to make evil swords, seeing as most people who weilded them were injured by them. Sorry this wasn't a question, but the readers might enjoy it. Thanks Aegis!

    "Raw, your whack set is faker than a bomb threat by a nervous terrorist who's so scared that his palms sweat."
    I can feel your pain. I, too, never had a chance to finish FF2/4. I bought it a couple years ago, but back in the 16-bit era, I borrowed it, played all the way up to the moon, and then had to give the thing back. I'll finish the game one of these days...

    I think quite a few of our readers would be interested in your sword info, so I printed it. Thanks for writing in.

    The Last I'll Print on the Subject
    Mr. Aegis. Thought I'd clear up the confusion, once and for all, if that's okay?

    Regarding the Zelda timeline; if readers are so inclined, they are more than welcome to click this link, Zelda Universe, and read up. Navigate to the library in the northwest and enter the 'Hall of Time.' Wa-la! Nintendo (*ahem*, Hyrulean scholars) officially list the legend's exploits as follows:

    Mask (Termina)
    Link to the Past
    Ages (Labrynna)
    Seasons (Holodrum)
    Awakening (Koholint Island)

    Where the forthcoming GameCube and GBA editions fall into this is anyone's guess. Er, rather Miyamoto's, et al. So remember this..write it down if you have to, and the next time you hear any number of wild permutations on this site or others--you'll know better. Plus you'll sound cool since you'll know what your actually talking about.

    "Of course, other scholars have formulated different theories. Since there is no way to prove these theories, they will likely be debated for centuries to come." --

    Cheers, Kruncha

    P.S. (it's mandatory?) Having beaten both Oracle games 'round three weeks ago, I must say that Flagship has honored (Ganon was a joke though...) the series. I hope they work with Nintendo again in the future.
    Here's Nintendo's official Zelda timeline. As for your P.S., though I've played little of them so far, I agree. The new Zelda games are definitely up to Nintendo's standards of quality. Considering the success of the games, I wouldn't be surprised at all if Flagship does some sort of Nintendo project again.

    Darkenéd Sheep
    Oh Aegis:

    What did you think of FF8 compared to the other FFs? I'm asking every authoritative Rpguru I can think of, and I have yet to ask you. In my opinion, at first I thought the game committed sacrilege with the magic system, the highly drawn out (no pun intended) guardian force attacks, and the lackluster main character, but now the story and especially the music is beginning to grow on me. I still think it pales to most of the other Final Fantasies, epsecially 4 and 7. What do you believe?

    I've only played a couple hours of Final Fantasy 8, and as you might gather from that fact alone, I didn't really care for it. I hated the battle system, I was annoyed with the characters, and, although it was well-done, I didn't like the game's graphical style. I'm going to try to make myself play through it this summer, and, if I succeed, I should have a more well-rounded opinion on the game. Until then, stay tuned.

    Pipe Dream
    Was looking at the GBA wishlist. I'm not much of a Chrono Trigger fan, but I'm glad to see Suikoden is on there. However, there is a game series that should be so painfully obvious, I wonder how not one of them made the list; Phantasy Star.

    -Nicholas Malthus
    Yes, I agree; the PS series was unjustly overlooked in our GBA Wishlist feature. However, although this should be taken with a grain of salt, I have heard rumors of the Phantasy Star games coming to the GBA. As with all rumors, this may not actually come to pass, but it would be great if it did. Here's to hoping.

    Potent Potables
    Hey Aegis,

    First of all Aegis was the shizz in FFT. Until Orlandu came around and she was pretty pointless. My question to you is fun and wicked and a multiparter SLAM FEST in a shell...

    1)I dont own a PS2 yet, Xenosaga and MGS2...Enough to purchase one?

    Well, that all depends. How much did you like Xenogears and Metal Gear Solid? If you thought those were two of the best games ever, then buying a PS2 would probably be worth it just for those. If you weren't too big on them, though, then I don't really know what to tell you. Keep in mind that there is a lot more cool stuff coming out for the PS2 than just Xenosaga and MGS2. However, if you're only able to buy one new system, you may want to carefully weigh your options before settling down with one.

    2)Better Mecha Style...Gundam/Transformers or Eva/Xenogears? I like the bulky Gundam look myself.

    Hmmm... while both are cool, I'll probably have to say I like the Eva style better.

    3)Why in videogames is the church always corrupt. Examples : Xenogears, FFT. And not only is it the church, its a very Christian structured Church. Do the japanese got a problem?

    Some of the bloodiest wars have been fought over religion, which could be a big influencing factor when it comes to churches in fictional works. I don't think the Japanese have a problem; you can find fiction -- and non-fiction -- from many countries that deals with the corruption of the church. You can agree that it makes for interesting plots, no?

    4)Most memorable videogame scene? Mine was anything from Xenogears, namely the Soylent System, gotta love that Soylent Green Stephen King reference. Damn Wels...they had it so bad...

    I'm gonna have to say mine's the opera scene from FF3/6.

    5)and lastly...Thoughts on FF10...I think its a big floppy stink fesh of Spheres and Yunas.

    I think it looks a bit too much like FF8, but I'm gonna give it a chance before I pass final judgement.


    Attack of the Six-Year-Old Question
    How the hell do I play import games on my Saturn? HELP!!!

    Although installing a mod chip is one viable solution, I'd suggest something much more hassle-free: get a Saturn Gameshark. You can play import games by holding X + Y + Z when you press Start to start the game, so I hear.

    Celebration Time
    Today is my birthday. Presents and money are welcome.....need I say more?

    -Rinoa the Resistance Fighter
    Happy birthday! Your official RPGamer Super Birthday Cake™ is in the mail.

    Console Stuff

    Too many consoles, not enough time. [read: money] Kuwes-chuns...

    1]Advance Wars is coming out for the GBA this September. Yay. Heard anything about Tactics Ogre or any GBA rpg for that matter? I think most GBA rpgs have a fair chance of getting dumped on this side of the Pacific.

    I agree; I think that we're going to see a ton of translated RPGs on the Game Boy Advance. As for Tactics Ogre Gaiden, Nintendo has the game listed for a future North American release, with themselves as the publisher.

    2]Think the Xbox is gonna make it? I'd get it just for Jet Set Radio Future. That game is going to take over the world. Other than that the Gates-Box looks like a glorified DVD player. Though wouldn't it be cool to have Bill Gates on your boot-up screen? The boot up screen could say, "Hi. I'm Bill Gates and you just turned me on."

    I certainly think the Xbox could make it. As for whether it will or not, I have no idea. The consumer market is too damn fickle for me to try to forecast this one. I'll be getting the Xbox if only for the Sega games. As you said, JSR Future looks great, and Gun Valkyrie should be pretty sweet, too. If Bill Gates pops up on my TV screen when I'm trying to play the Xbox, I'll probably have a heart attack.

    3]What's your take on the PS2? I don't think I'll ever get one. I've heard that the hardware quality is absolutely horrible. Source quote: "A russian mayonnaise factory could make a better console."

    The PS2 is starting to get some good, purchase-worthy games. I'll buy one after the inevitable price drop. Yeah, I've heard bad things about the hardware, too...

    4]What is it with Sony and end-product quality? I've had my PSX for about 2 years and it always freezes up. On the other hand, I've had a Sony TV for about 12 years and it still works fine. I know it's apples and oranges but it's still the same brand.

    It doesn't make sense to me either. Most Sony products are great, but their game hardware is crap. My PSX (a later model, mind you, bought in '98) has been skipping on me for over a year now, and the PS2 isn't supposed to be any better, from the things I've read. Keep those receipts, folks.

    It's going to be fun watching the console corps. duke it out this Xmas. Yay for stuff.



    P.s.- Final Rehash X is NOT an excuse for a PS2. I dont care what anybody says, these days Square is all hype and no tripe.

    Although I agree that Square has turned into the ultimate hype machine as of late, FFX might surprise you. Let's wait and see.

    End of the Road:

    And so ends today's column. By the time next Tuesday comes around, FF Chronicles will have come out, so I expect you all to tell me what you think of it. Also, I didn't do it this time because of the confusion with CC not hosting, but next Monday you can expect me to pop in at the bottom of the column to give you some topics for Tuesday. Until then, make sure you treat the slime with care and send it questions.

    Andrew P. Bilyk is going to cook some eggs.

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