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Chapter XV: In Which Currents is Current

Lusipurr - 22:20 GMT

Greetings, and welcome the the February 15 edition of Curr--

Well shoot, I forgot where I was. As you can see, I am once again making a guest appearance in RPGamer's Q&Abuse, at the behest of host Shawn Cooper. I have a more specific reason for being here this time around however; for there is an announcement of sorts, and a request.

If you swing your eyes to the top of this page you will see that directly to the right of the "Send Mail" link, there is a link to my esteemed news column, Currents. "Why is this," you might ask? The reason is simple: we, (that is, myself and Shawn), are encouraging you to read it. Why? Because the two of us believe that Currents has the potential to be an excellent springboard for discussion. Thus, we have agreed to a sort of collaboration; a quasi-merger, if you will. After next week, Q&A will appear once a week, on Fridays, and the general tone will be geared more towards a discussion of current events in the videogame industry. We would ask that, in selecting a topic for your letter, look to Currents. Read it, analyze it, meditate upon the news therein, and then write your opinions in to Q&A! For example, referencing my most recent column, what are your thoughts on the ESRB's recent ratings breakdown? When you purchase a game, does its ESRB rating factor into your decision-making? Do you think that M-rated games have a higher potential for effective storytelling due to the mature themes they are allowed to handle? Is the ESRB a frivolous waste of time and money that should be dismantled altogether? Speak! Voice your opinions! Q&A should be a forum for DISCUSSION above all else, and what better things are there to discuss than current events and breaking news? Shawn and I are both confident that this collaboration will be a positive thing, but in the end, and like always, Q&A is in your hands. Without your letters, we are nothing. So I ask of you: write in, and make this column flourish.

I must say, I was filled with spite
After staying up through the previous night.
My Lost Odyssey time
Has inspired some rhyme.
Now to letters, both hackneyed and trite!



This is my first time writing to you as I used to write to Matt when he was around. Anyways, I just want to say that you are an obnoxious, annoying, dislikable, hateful, odious, reprehensible, stinking, unpleasant jerk. And, I just want to say...I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I look forward to your column every Friday. Half of the replies you give our fellow RPGamers out there are almost exactly what's going through my mind when I read your column. Keep up the great work and maybe I'll write you a question so you can be just as obnoxious with me as you have been. Once again keep up the great work.



Though your comments are gentle and kind
(And backhanded as well, I now find),
I must say my brain
Is writhing in pain
From the exclamations that you have assigned.

Drawn Out


I am an avid gamer. I like RPGs mostly, but don't really have time to get into these newer ones that take about 70+ hours to beat. I am also into other genres but y'all don't report on those. My question is, "WHY IS THERE NO STUNNING OR EXCITING TITLES (with the exception of metal gear solid 4) COMING OUT ANYTIME SOON?" I am real nostalgic and play old school RPGs (that only take 12 to 30 hours to beat). Why can't these RPG companies shorten some of their games? I understand that a lot of people enjoy these extremely long games, but there are some people like me who don't have the time for some of the more recent titles. Maybe I'm just nagging, but the other genres aren't really putting out appealing games either.

I appreciate your time,



I believe I can cure your dismay
If you are but willing to pay
Sixty dollars a pop
At your local shoppe
For to find yourself new games to play.

Lost Odyssey is wholly divine,
And its arrival is clearly some sign
The skies will soon redden
In a Gaming Armageddon.
So no, the industry is not in decline.


Hey Purr,

I've been a long fan of the column in its many iterations, but I've only sent in a few letters. This will be my first as a fellow staff member. Go team.

I just picked up an Xbox 360. Naturally, most of my questions relate to this one.

1) If I had to pick one RPG to buy, what should I pick?


I believe I have mentioned before--
And you have chosen to ignore--
That Lost Odyssey's a game
Deserving of fame,
And one that you should explore.

2) As above, but with a non-RPG.


I think you'll find Orange Box is fun
If you enjoy toting a gun
And using its might
To shoot all those in sight.
As an FPS it will not be outdone.

3) What's your favorite XBLA game? I'm not sure if that's the right acronym, but I like it better than any other for the Xbox Live Arcade.


Geometry Wars is 'retro' and 'cool',
Though at first, you may find it quite cruel.
As the difficulty expands
You may wring your hands,
But after practise, you'll agree it's a jewel.

4) I think I know the answer to this one, but I want to hear it in detail: Why should I get FFXI for the Xbox?


Alas, I am free from its power!
For its beauty and might have grown sour.
World of Warcraft, I've found
Is rightly renowned.
And this fame increases still by the hour.

Sorry for the brief nature of the letter, but I've got a ton of homework to get to. Damn college.


P.S. Super Secret Bonus Question: Wordsworth or Keats?



Written at Town-end, Grasmere. Met, and described to me by my Sister, near the quarry at the head of Rydal lake, a place still a chosen resort of vagrants travelling with their families.

SHE had a tall man's height or more;
Her face from summer's noontide heat
No bonnet shaded, but she wore
A mantle, to her very feet
Descending with a graceful flow,
And on her head a cap as white as new-fallen snow.

Her skin was of Egyptian brown:
Haughty, as if her eye had seen
Its own light to a distance thrown,
She towered, fit person for a Queen
To lead those ancient Amazonian files;
Or ruling Bandit's wife among the Grecian isles.

Advancing, forth she stretched her hand
And begged an alms with doleful plea
That ceased not; on our English land
Such woes, I knew, could never be;
And yet a boon I gave her, for the creature
Was beautiful to see--a weed of glorious feature.

I left her, and pursued my way;
And soon before me did espy
A pair of little Boys at play,
Chasing a crimson butterfly;
The taller followed with his hat in hand,
Wreathed round with yellow flowers the gayest of the land.

The other wore a rimless crown
With leaves of laurel stuck about;
And, while both followed up and down,
Each whooping with a merry shout,
In their fraternal features I could trace
Unquestionable lines of that wild Suppliant's face.

Yet 'they', so blithe of heart, seemed fit
For finest tasks of earth or air:
Wings let them have, and they might flit
Precursors to Aurora's car,
Scattering fresh flowers; though happier far, I ween,
To hunt their fluttering game o'er rock and level green.

They dart across my path--but lo,
Each ready with a plaintive whine!
Said I, "not half an hour ago
Your Mother has had alms of mine."
"That cannot be," one answered--"she is dead:"--
I looked reproof--they saw--but neither hung his head.

"She has been dead, Sir, many a day."--
"Hush, boys! you're telling me a lie;
It was your Mother, as I say!"
And, in the twinkling of an eye,
"Come! Come!" cried one, and without more ado,
Off to some other play the joyous Vagrants flew!

-W. Wordsworth


So concludes the All-Limerick Edition of RPGamer's Q&Abuse column. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have. Perhaps we will do this again one day!

Oliver has already given you the information on the Currents-Q&A Collaboration, so I see no need to extol his column [much] further. Go there and read it; it really is one of the finer portions of our (already fine) site, so if you are not reading Currents, you are missing out.

Also, I managed to accidentally kill Gorne this week when he managed several times to hurl himself on the point of my two-handed bastard sword. He seems to be getting better, but his final column will be this coming Tuesday. Please, for the love of the good man, send him your final farewells and goodbyes. He will be missed. Also, if you wish to send flowers to his bereaved family, you can do so through our RPGamer Family Services department. Money should be sent directly to me.

In the works, even now, is a new RPGamer feature of special magnificence. As we seek to further adapt to the changing nature of the web, we are branching out in new and exciting ways. You have seen some of this with the advent of our wildly popular podcast. Now we are going still further, set to bring you more of the stuff you seem to enjoy most: this time, starring yours truly. I will release more details as we get closer to launch, so you will have to check back for more. Trust me, though: you do not want to miss this.

That is another week come and gone, and I will see you in another week more. Address your letters, your rants, your complaints, your concerns, your joys, your sorrows, and even I dare say your questions to me. Remember to read Currents and, if you have something you want to say about something there (or even a piece of news that is not there), use that handy-dandy link to mail me. What about Jack Thompson blaming the latest school tragedy on Counterstrike? How does that suit you? Let me know!

Now, I have a battle to win. Forward the Light Brigade!

Lusipurr is enjoying Lost Odyssey.

"Was there a man dismay'd?"

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The Malakand Field Force of
Sir Winston Churchill

1st Brigade.
Commanding--Colonel W.H. Meiklejohn, C.B., C.M.G., with the local rank of Brigadier-General.
1st Battalion Royal West Kent Regiment.
24th Punjaub Infantry.
31st Punjaub Infantry.
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No.38 Native Field Hospital.
Sections A and B of No.50 Native Field Hospital.

2nd Brigade.
Commanding--Brigadier-General P.D. Jeffreys, C.B.
1st Battalion East Kent Regiment (the Buffs).
35th Sikhs.
38th Dogras.
Guides Infantry.
Sections C and D of No.1 British Field Hospital.
No.37 Native Field Hospital.
Sections C and D of No.50 Native Field Hospital.

Divisional Troops.
4 Squadrons 11th Bengal Lancers.
1 Squadrons 10th Bengal Lancers
2 Squadrons Guides Cavalry.
22nd Punjaub Infantry.
2 Companies 21st Punjaub Infantry.
10th Field Battery.
6 Guns No.1 British Mountain Battery.
6 Guns No.7 British Mountain Battery.
6 Guns No.8 Bengal Mountain Battery.
No.5 Company Madras Sappers and Miners.
No.3 Company Bombay Sappers and Miners.
Section B of No.13 British Field Hospital.
Sections A and B of No.35 Native Field Hospital.

Line of Communications.
No.34 Native Field Hospital.
Section B of No.1 Native Field Hospital.

[This complete division amounted to a total available field strength of 6800 bayonets, 700 lances or sabres, with 24 guns.]

The command of this powerful force was entrusted to Brigadier-General Sir Bindon Blood, K.C.B., who was granted the local rank of Major-General.

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